I was talking to a friend the other day about Pay It Forward and he said that it was an amazing idea but the trouble is people aren’t very good at receiving.
I had to think about it for a while but he is right. In today’s world the act of giving, especially to a stranger, is often seen as a means to influence, perhaps there is an ulterior motive, what do they want, are all things one may hear.
If you give to friends, family or colleagues then often the reaction is not as one would expect. People feel compelled to reciprocate the gift or favour. If you invite me to dinner, I will invite you. If you buy me lunch I will buy you the next one. If I buy you a birthday present then you will buy me one.
And here’s the rub,
The reciprocation will often be to the same value, financial, emotional or experiential, so tell me this,
WHERE IS THE GIFT?
If we are going to change this world and help others and Pay It Forward then it seems to me we must learn two skills, how to give AND more importantly, how to receive.
It’s ebb and flow, yin and yang, give and take, ok maybe not that one, but it’s about balance. We need to learn to not steal the gift of giving by living in a world of reciprocation. Give because you want to and let others do the same without you having a misplaced sense of obligation which takes their gift away.
Pay It Forward is a great antidote to this but only if you accept a gift as it is intended and do not pay it back but – Pay It Forward.
Have a great month,
What an incredible start to the YES Group year so far. Last week we had our first event of 2012 and there where over 100 people in the room. The speakers were awesome and we had some great feedback. We also had a generous contribution to Basket Brigade 2012 with Success Resources giving us a ticket to Anthony Robbins UPW in May, which we auctioned and raised over £500, so thank you. If you have not got your ticket yet click >>here.<<
One of the things I spoke about throughout the night was the Pay It Forward (PIF) foundation and the wonderful work they are doing. We are going to be privileged to have Charley Johnson the President of the PIF foundation speaking at the March event and on that same day PIF are going to reach across the world with their own special event. March 28 at 4pm, (anywhere and everywhere! ) PIF are holding a Flash Mob —In London it is in Trafalgar Square and we are expecting hundreds, if not thousands to attend. Click >>here<
The idea behind PIF is simple, you do something good to help someone else and they don’t pay you back, they Pay It Forward -to someone else ,who in turn, pays it forward too. Simple.
Pay it forward can be small or big, it is the act that counts not the size of the act. You could pay for someone’s bus ticket or give them a car (as in the film Pay It Forward). You could help an old lady across the road, or drive her to the shops and buy her shopping. It’s up to you. Yes it is like a random act of kindness but with one huge difference, they have to pay if forward and the cycle carries on.
Please think about how you could Pay It Forward this month, and if you have done so already, or if someone has done so for you, then please share on the YES Group Facebook page <<here>>
Early this week a team from the YES Group left the UK to travel to Africa to start their ascent on Mt Kilimanjaro. It is going to be a 2-week trip during which they will have the 7-day climb, coaching from Eric Edmeades and some charity work too. All in all it is going to be an incredible trip of inspiration and introspection with everyone coming back with their own break through’s, distinctions and memories for life. We wish them all well and <<here>> is a way to track their progress.
Back to Basket Brigade for a moment and I would love to tell you about an event happening on February 16th in London which is a joint event between YES Group London and Alongside Africa supporting both Grace Children’s Village in Uganda and YES Group London Basket Brigade. Tickets are (buy here) only £12 and it is going to be a fantastic evening of entertainment with Richard Wilkins (Minister for Inspiration), The Coach with the Hat and another chance to see the awesome John P Morgan. If you can be there then I urge you to do so, it will be fantastic.
Have a great month,
The world has lost a truly great man and visionary but lets not be too saddened by his death lets celebrate the life of an amazing man. He changed the world in many ways from personal and business computing, personal music, portable computing and perhaps the most pervasive way, in making us expect product design to be brilliant, all products. Apple is the benchmark of design standard to the point where we now judge things on how ‘Apple’ like they are.
He had failures with things like the Newton and huge successes with the Apple IIe and even had to leave the company before coming back to even higher greatness but he has shown what can be achieved with a single mind and a burning desire. In his early days he was more petulant child than purist genius and was even known as the enfant terrible. It is incredible what a different lens or focus on things has, as I cannot believe he truly changed his enfent terrible ways just that people got used to them and more importantly the results he brought.
A great insight into how he lived is live was given in his speech to Stanford University in 2005, not long after he had been diagnosed with the cancer that killed him.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.“
Last weekend I went out with my family for a walk, well we walked and the little girls rode their bikes. Ok I say rode but I mean I pushed the youngest, Amelia, as her feet don’t reach the peddles and I pulled Emilie.
We were walking along a path on a sea wall and whilst it was grass on both sides and perfectly safe, Emilie was somewhat unhappy riding her bike under her own power. She can peddle and steer and stop but for some reason, or at least one she could not or would not explain, she was insisting on me pulling her along. So like a good daddy I did.
It didn’t take long before I decide this was a bit uncomfortable, it’s a small bike and I had to lean over and pull the handle bars whilst still pushing the youngest. So I said enough was enough I wouldn’t do it any more. But despite my telling Emilie that she could do it on her own, that it wasn’t too difficult or too bumpy or too dangerous, she would not budge!
It was then I had the idea of connecting the lead from the Amelia’s walking reigns to the front of Emilies bike, this allowed me to walk upright once more and also to pull her along.
A very strange thing happend when I did this however. The lead never got tight! Emilie never needed me to pull her along, although she seemed to think I was. The lead was always loose!
It was the belief that I was helping her that allowed her to overcome her belief that she couldn’t do it. Even when I pointed it out to her she still insisted that I was pulling her, though I promise you I was not.
How many times have you not done something, or felt you were not able to do it, without the help of another. I know I have many times. We often don’t start something or can’t complete something because we just need that little bit of help. It could be a mentor, a teacher or someone that has done it before but it just feels safe and gives us that emotional safety net, that we don’t really need!
It’s time to cut the net.
p.s. If you think the lead looks tight in this photo, well it was. This was a posed shot! Even spontaneity has to be posed!
How many people do you meet day to day that do just that, yes yourself included? Well if you said you do then you, or your friend, is blessed because for the most of us we live life to exist, to work, to pay bills, to socialise and occasionally, eventually, when it all gets too much, to look for a greater meaning, a reason for being.
That reason for being is your ‘purpose’ and how many people working in the offices and shops all around have truly found their purpose, let alone follow it. Well oddly it is in the middle of some of these offices and shops that there is a great big ‘arrow in the sand’ kind of clue for anyone to observe, take in and to act on, but how many do?
Across the plaza from Canary Wharf station, written in the stone paving stones, at the end of Middle Dock, there is an inscription, which, is a breath of inspiration in an otherwise architecturally designed modern day factory. It say’s
What greater inspiration than to seek out your purpose. Yes it could mean go book that trip to Machu Picchu, or buy that Ferrari with your bonus, but I believe it is more than that, deeper. I believe it is about finding your purpose in life. When you do that you truly will live your life and you most definitely will be living your dreams.
Join us at this months YES Group London on Wednesday 27th July, where we are ‘Living with Purpose’, and whilst you may not find yours on the night, I am certain you will learn some techniques to help you seek it out very soon.
To Your Success
Yesterday my family and I went to the local zoo, we love the zoo because it keeps my two little girls very happy and occupied for hours, and they learn things too.
Emilie loves the meerkats because they are really sweet and cute and we always stop to look at them. Yesterday as with every time we go there is one lonely meerkat standing tall on the highest rock or branch, acting as lookout for the rest of the group and it occurred to me that this little meerkat had a purpose in life. One he was prepared to die for, well maybe run away for!
How many of us have a purpose so strong that we will go out on a limb, literally, and stand out from the crowd just to achieve our burning desires.
Oddly the human species is the only species on the planet that can imagine the future, and yet how many of us, despite that power take no action to follow our purpose, even though we could ‘see’ the effects of our action, or our inaction!
Maybe you say, “I don’t have a purpose”, and maybe that is true at the moment but I believe everyone has a purpose, and your responsibly while you have time on this planet is to find it and follow it. For some it will be world Peace (Jeremy Gilley) or building the self-confidence and self-esteem in the disabled (Dick Hoyt). Or perhaps it is raising your family and simply taking them to the zoo on a sunny Sunday afternoon.
It’s up to you, and for clarity, some tools and help with your direction join us at this months YES Group London where we are Living with Purpose.
To Your Success
Two weeks ago we had a team from the YES Group, lead by Vice Chair Pere Raphael, that went on a challenging adventure. They attempted, and succeeded, to climb the highest three peaks in England, Wales and Scotland to raise money for our worthy causes.
It’s called the 3 Peaks challenge and requires the individuals to summit Scafell Pike, Snowdon and Ben Nevis, starting in Scotland and working down. The challenge is different for everyone that attempts it, some people want to do it as fast as possible, some to find the easiest route while others are just happy to get to the top no mater what.
It’s really only your mindset that matters…
Because for each mountain the time of day and weather will be different, it may be day or night, hot or cold, or perhaps worse, storms with rain or snow. The sense of achievement at attaining each peak, each goal, is incredible and despite the pain and the tiredness the exhilaration from the success only adds to ones determination fuel tanks to give you the strength to attack the next stage of the seemingly impossible journey.
And is this not truly a metaphor for life or any challenge we may have before us, not least of all in accumulating wealth and finding a life of financial abundance. Many of us struggle around the foothills, not knowing the route, looking up longingly at where we need and want to be.
If you would like to find your guide to a life of success and financial abundance then come and meet our 3 excellent speakers who have all climbed their own personal mountains and can now speak from that position of abundance. Come to the YES Group this month to find your own guide to the top.
This month we are excited to hear Sherpa – Marcus de Maria, Sherpa – Daniel Priestley and Sherpa – Eric Edmeades. Get your tickets here.
The answer is 4 and perhaps surprisingly it’s the fourth one that matters the most.
Most of us live our lives day to day focusing on the 3 dimensions of space. We rush from A to B we go to the gym to make ourselves stronger and fitter, we buy clothes and material possessions to ‘feel’ better about our selves. Yet the fourth dimension is the one we move through with least thought, even though it is the one that controls all the successes we have in life. TIME…
If you consider time as a dimension like space and you were to plan and conduct your life accordingly then you would see a profound difference.
Imagine a car journey in which you kept stopping every few minutes and either idly sit and ponder your journey, or worse, take a detour and then forget where you were going. Well this is how many of us live our lives in Time, we stop and ponder, get distracted, lose focus, or just stop what we are doing all together. We also don’t often realize, until it’s too late, that the things we do in the 3 dimensions will, over time, compound to produce incredible results, both good and bad depending on your daily actions.
Whatever you wish to achieve, whoever you wish to become, and wherever you wish to go, it’s your carefully planned journey through time that will get you there quicker than anything you can do in the NOW. Book your ticket here to this months event on Time… The Fourth Dimension.
A world where everyone has access to a peer group that inspires them to grow & contribute.
WOW, what a trip and a warm up of education for The YES group London’s RUCKSACKATHON Summer 2011 which YOU are invited to!
Pere Raphael and I managed to meet up as planned at Clapham Junction railway station and catch the fast train to Brighton. It’s a simple and fast journey.
We dropped the suitcase full of goodies from London at the Brighton myhotel, which is also the designer venue for the YES Group meeting this evening. It’s also where we are staying, as we each were also generously gifted a designer room each! In some ways bizarre, as so far removed from the people we came to help! But definitely something we are grateful for, it reminded me of you give before you get quoted in Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich”.
Perfect timing as we meet Viv and Mike in the hallway. But Ah Whoa as I enter my room, it blasts me in pink! But so funky with high-tech built into the walls everywhere and a designer bathroom and walk-in shower. The last time I stayed here I enjoyed the green swirls on the next floor, but this place is just so cool, and the theme ‘The Maharishi meets Freddy Mercury!!
Pere tells me his room is “gangsta white walls” and the carpet is a bright mixture of red, white and purple. He calls it a very funky room and kept repeating that the colours of the hotel helps to stimulate your senses, which it definitely does. A lot of love, care and attention has gone into the design of this hotel and one you absolutely must experience.
I met the owner of myhotel (before myhotel ) through Tony Robbins way back then and they have now been a client of mine for 10 years! Anyway you’ve got to go stay there sometime its a must do experience!
OK we are at the coast so let’s go see the sea! But its heavy rain and Pere has a new haircut! So we can’t go, at least until it stops. So off to eat and right opposite is Carluccio’s chatting and planning about our talks on Leadership tonight and future YES Group volunteer events. We are both excited excited about our outcomes for this evening and tomorrow. We decide we need more resources on how to do a great job tomorrow – Neither of us have done this before! So we call a contact of Pere’s, Bybreen. Top tips for connecting with youngsters! Great and some valuable DO NOTS! Thanks. Phone keeps ringing but it’s easing off its Friday Afternoon.
Next stop is a ‘pop up’ menswear & accessories shop in myhotel it pulls us in and I end up negotiating a new suit in the sale (aren’t they all) it’s perfect fit, in the flow – cant say no – Must be at The YES Group!
Ok the myhotel Team are treating us like royalty, beautiful, and it helps get us in the mindset of how we will be respecting the young people tomorrow at the centre. We get to the presentation room a bit after planned and apologise for being late… We do take the Yes Group code of honour wherever we go, now we are focused on supporting the team before the guests arrive, chatting about how we work and deliver WOW events in London. As we meet ‘officially’ with the team, Viv and others to talk about building a stronger team in Brighton; some great ideas shared… time fly’s guests arrive..
Gosh time is getting near to actual start; I grab my notes for a 15 min review. But Pere is on first. I told Pere there was no PowerPoint. That’s one way to support him and get him off the crutch that it can be for all of us sometimes. Outstanding! What a Great job Pere. Very Impressed. Have to step up my game! Mike is also a great MC. Funny, story teller and on message!
I’m stretching my presentation into 45mins from 15mins in London and that’s quite easy actually! So much to share. Looking forward to seeing the longer term impact, straight after Pere tells me we had immediate step up for the presenter for next month, success, Gail, a Brighton local from the USA! Who has completed Tony’s Life Mastery. More on that later though. At the end we presented Viv the chairperson with a special branded YES Group Pen with her name on it from YES Group London.
Pere tells me and I agree that it was great to be a part of this evening surrounded by an amazing bunch of people. It must be the Brighton water or air, the team and members were extremely cool and very welcoming.
Such a great team please show your support and “Like” Brighton YES Group on Facebook.
We finished up about 9.30pm and headed for the posh and trendy bar directly one floor below.
So great to have everything in close proximity. We said goodnight’s a bit late but excited about the RUCKSACKATHON in the AM.
Ah we didn’t see the Sea …. ZZZzzzz
We arrived by cab to the housing association in Hyde Marlett just about a mile away around 9am. Thanks to (Jackie.) For organizing. All tea and coffee sorted and Viv brought the donuts not quite the menu us Londoners eat so glad we had breakfast at myhotel but thanks though Viv! Spot a few people drinking there greens.
To lighten our day Pere shared this funny You Tube clip
If you like the Smartphone debate then this will make you smile Funny Smartphone debate cartoon.
We packed everything and enjoyed the camaraderie then took off crushed into a few cars (not much parking) laden up with rucksack’s and roll mats to the day centre. A great adventure with like minded heartfelt friends.
As I remember being there my personal experience was that I found it hard to connect. I recognise that this is about me, not the young adults. We got on well as a team and there was a lot of good feeling on both sides. Lessons learnt.
Determined to speak to more people actually & on the street. Four of us Ben, Celia, Pere and I took 4 rolls and 4 rucksacks & went off on a mission. We met some homeless people in the park who had alcohol and drugs issues and this really helps to put life into perspective.
Amidst what looked like a train wreck of lives, there was hope on many levels. One of the homeless guys was called Jason; he was desperate almost demanding for me and Pere to pray for him. I had difficulty doing this but to my surprise Pere stepped up quickly and demonstrated that all those trips to Sunday school as a child was not a waste of time. Pere asked him what he wanted prayer for. Jason replied that he would like protection, a home and his dole money. Pere connected & did a great job & said the prayer. Pere later shared that he had hope for Jason because despite his current state he still had a sense of self awareness. Which changed my frame of reference as I’d not imagined him getting off the street – a lesson there.
This was a very heavy session because of the waste-fullness of it all, so much human resource and lack of fulfillment and achievement. By the end of it all, we felt we’d made a big difference by bringing a ray of light, albeit for a very short time, into their lives. They now know that someone cares without any agenda.
Please ‘Like‘ Brighton Yes Group on Facebook to show your support here.
We had time to race to the Pier just to see the Sea and off for our 3pm train back to London.
By 4:30 PM, I was back in London & in the gym, a 7k run later, straight home and changed and out for a 40th Birthday Party fun and friends.
Wow, I wake up relaxed the next day to bright sunshine and an Amazing feeling of achievement & gratitude a walk to the river and a chat with Viv.
Pere and I very much hope you’ll be joining us for the London Summer RUCKSACKATHON.
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We plan to go back to Brighton to their next YES Group meeting Friday March 4th. Why not join us?